Dec. 30, 2013

Thank you so much for your email.  It was really nice to talk to you on christmas and it was uplifting at the same time.  For my first call I think i did a pretty good controlling my homesickness.  I just got a little sad talking with ardie...man i miss that kid and his annoyingness at times.  I still think it is weird that I havent seen him for almost three years :)  I think it is funny that mindy is having a hard time with him and his sarcasm... welsome to the life of kirsten :). That is cool that mindy will visit DC with her roommates (that should be nice to see all of them)  When I visited Mindy in DC that was really fun and I will always remember that trip for the rest of my life and our family california trips (those were really fun.) i still think my heart is in San Fran.  I really like that scripture dad, it is one of my favorites..all we can do is grow in the light of christ day by day and then one day we will arrive to the Perfect day..it realy is quite the promise.  We really do have a lot to smile about and if we only knew what was to come we wouldnt be able to control our excitement.  I think it was stan johnson (the best BOM teacher at BYU) that quoted an apostle and he said something along the lines "if we knew the blessings that are waiting in the heavens for us we wouldnt be able to sleep at night because of the anticipation".  I just hope that one day, little by little, we will be worthy to recieve all of these blessings.  I really do love this gospel and I dont know what I did in the pre-life to have this gospel, to have my family, and to have all of my blessings...we really are soooo blessed.  I feel really blessed to have the heritage that I have.  Sometimes I get a little bit down and I think "wow this is rough, not physically but mentally spiritually and just a lot of responsibility" but then I remember the words of  President Hinckley and I remember Omi, and I remember Jens Nielsen and all of those trials that our family had to endure for the truth and I get a new energy.  We really do have believing blood and I feel blessed to have a heritage so great in the gospel.  

I think it is super crazy that lindsay will have three little boys (that is amazing and will probaby be really hard for her.  They make really cute boys so I am excited to meet him when I get back and am excited to meet little lon (blue eyed baby)  All boys and carolyn sure is different then our family.  Oh and Ardie I am sure that with you going to aubreys wedding it just made her that much sure that her decision is right haha.  And Poor justin haha Oh yeah I remember Billy Fox (he was a good kid) Mom, korean dramas are so popular here it is funny.  Yesterday my comp and I were on our way to the mission liders house and it started raining like crazy (rainy season :( but we got to his door just in time before it got really bad :) and his little three year old was watching Lie to me.  I will admit I really anted to watch it.  But then we waited for the rain to stop and then went to visit our people.  

We are planning baptisms for this saturdaut and we have a lot of support from our bishop pric. But I am worried because I think our converts are having doubts.  They know it true but I think they are angry with us because we couldt take all of them to the activity the other day because there mom need hep washing cothes and so they were a little upset with us (it is confusing and weird) teaching younger peole is always a little hard because you really do need to create a relationship with them first.  I posted pictures from the activity.  We made fruit cake at a members house.  The other pictures of the little boys are younger symbling of the family we are teaching. 

Another hard thing this week is three of my old converts are working in the fields.  They left there daughter at home to look at for the chickens and hens and I had been knocking on the door to see how she has been doing this transfer (she was less active and after she came back to the church with her family and then we baptized her famiily but I havent been seeing her at church since her family left) I was worried but every time we knocked her door no answer and everytime we called her no answer) the other day she came out (she is about 21 yrs old) when we knocked her door.  I asked how she was and said we would visit her on christmas.  Well we visited her the day after christmas and she was drunk and told me everything about her life and all the problems (she was pregnant but then lost her baby and then was beat by her dad when she was younger and then he left and she doesnt want to tell anyone...so as for right now I am the only one who knows) and all of this happened within the last two months :( when she wasnt answering the door.  She has shame and doent want to tell anyone and now she is drinking.  Just super sad.  I was really ticked that she was drinking and drunk because she totally knows better.  ANyways I just dont know what to do about that whole situation. I am the only one she has confidence in..so it is overwhelming. I tried yesterday to visit her with hno lopez to try and get someone else in there who can help her but no answer.  I am telling you the things that keep me awake at night are things that I never thought would ever be on my mind. I feel a super weird feeling when they tell me all of there problems ( I dont quite know how to describe it)  I am learning wisdom beyond my years but I have a feeling after my mission I will not be able to handle the situations that I am handling now with everyone.  I am grateful that heavenly father is helping me.  And am a little sad that I nw understand almost all of the spanish because now I have more responsibility.

Dec. 16, 2013

Hey Family!!! 

This week has been good! About the whole christmas thing..I dont know exactly how it will work.  I know we can use skype and that would probably be better than just calling home because it is a fortune to call home..and I think skype is free.  I think some of the computers have skype but I dont know how reliable it is but I will ask the other north american missionaries how they have done it in the past.  But right now I will plan on calling dads phone if that is okay probably sometime in the morning or afternoon and then after we can see if we can get skype working.  We dont have christmas plans so I cant say a time and then we can see if we can get skype working on one of mindy or ardies laptops.  Also I dont think the IPAD would work because I would need an apple product and I dont think apple exists here :)  So possibly in the your next email send me mindy and ardies skype names.  But I will tell you more in the next email.  

If I am not able to call you..dont worry.  In some ways I dont want to call because I am still really homesick but I would probably regret it if I didnt at least try :)  I told our district leader that I didnt really wont to call home because I have really been missing home this last month and he said that all missionaries need to try calling their families. I think i have only been missing home more this month because their are a lot of missionairies leaving for their homes during this time of year..and I think about the future to much. But dont worry I am not crying just a little depressed :( Bolivia is a crazy place and sometimes I just crave to be in a america for thirty minutes with clean air, water, safe people, safe food. but I am glad I can share the message to this people they need it. 

In other news at the beginning of this week we had a christmas devotional with president and his wife.  We listened to there talks and then president thought it would be fun to have a push up contest and so all those missionares lined up and did push ups..president did about 60.  He is so fit..I could telll sister dyer had stars in her eyes watching him do push ups with all the elders...it was funny.  And after we had mashed potatoes and turckey.  Our little christmas celebration.  I havent seen a christmas tree still.  I am in the poorest part of cochabamba and so the people really dont celebrate christmas.In some ways it is nice because then i dont think about home or christmas.  I havent even heard a christmas song and we havent really sang christmas songs in church or have had an activity So Bolivia doesnt have christmas tradition at least that I know of

  I think you all think I am in a rural part of bolivia but i am really not.  I am just in a really poor part of a city (probably like mexico city-I heard people compare parts of bolivia to that.  Which has its own set of challenges because it is a lot more dangerous) I have had a couple close calls but quick thinking and quick walking really helps.  I havent gotten robbed yet which is pretty cool  

But I am healthy.  Since I am in a bad part it is pretty much a miracle that I am healthy.  My district leader said that if I can stay healthy here I will probably be able to stay healthy my whole mission which is sweet.  

Our zone is number two in the mission for most baptisms! The Number one zone is in tupiza for argentina (the bottom part of the missino) it made me feel good when president recognized us.  We had 14 baptisms in our zone the month back and I was a little prideful and it felt good knowing that four of those were mine haha  

Investigator time!!! 

Okay two of our investigators who have a baptismal fecha for the end of this month it looks like it is going to fall because elena still hasnt gotten permission from her grandma to be married to miguel and miguel doesnt want to go talk to the grandma be3cause of his past.  Our missino leader is his dad (a convert) and he told us that miguel used to get drunk and hit elena and the grandmother knew about that and has really hard feelings against him but now that elena is pregrnant we think that the grandmother will loosen up.  I think that miguel is changing but then hermano lopez told us the other day that when elena was in the hospital miguel wasnt bringing the money in from his work and he has been lying about what he has been spending it on.  So tomorrow when we teach them we are going to have an intervention...if miguel doesnt man up and talk to the grandmother and marry elena we are going to have to talk to hermano lopez about dropping him and not benig able to teach him because he doesnt have a strong enough desire to be baptized in order to make the changes necessary.  

Our other baptismal fechs are recent.  THIS FAMILY IS GOLD.  we found them knocking door.  We have been asked to not knock on doors but instead to work through the less actives in order to find  new people to teach but me and my companion were passing by and just thought we wouild knock the doors before we went to lunch.  We we knocked therir doors and our teaching theree of the kids 10 yrs old, 13 yrs old, and 15 yrs old.  They are so ready for the gospel it is amazing.  People like them make the mission worth it.  They cam to church the other day and then came to the activity last night for the young women.  The other day we showed them ther restauration video and rapheal the 10 yr old started crying and said that he felt sad and happy at the same time.  He is a great kid  The most spiritual kid that I have ever met and is way beyond his years.  I started crying our second lesson with them because I imagined Raphael as a a missionary. Everytime I testify I feel inside of me a burning and then I almost feel a little weak because of how much I know that it is true.  I know it is true with all my heart.  I didnt realize how much I didnt have the burning until I came on the mission and and now I have the burning. There are feelings that you feel here, things that you learn here, that you really cant learn any other place.  I am so blessed to be serving a mission. Also The daughter Wara, she has 15 yrs and she asked us how she can prepare to go on a mission.  The only problem with their whole situatino is that the parents are always busy (washing clothes or going to the market) and havent had time to talk to us but they are always respectful when we come and offer us something to drink.  But we need to teach them also and I am nervous for that. They are always in my prayers and I really hope that they will continue with their desire to be baptized I feel such a strong love for them. 

Also one of my converts ( a little black boy) I will need to send you a picture of him next week I forgot my camera but anyways we forgot to pick him up for church) and we felt so horrible after an so we went back and apologized and he said.  You forgot to pick me up because I am the only black boy uh?? it was so funny we both just started laughing.  And so we said as mends we would take him to part in our area with swings and would buy ice cream for him (he was like yeah sure) so tomorrow... rapheal, wara and carla and piero (the black boy will go to the park with us haha) 

I have been a little strwessed this last couple weeks because I have had to show my comp the area we are both equal companions no one over the other which is kind of stressful because a lot of people in the ward will call me and other missionaries will call me and it is still really hard to talk spanish.  Or they will describe where their house is and it is still really hard to search through my area. Our area is the third biggest area in all of the mission :)  We dont have adresses in my area just descriptinos for the houses  (for example- a referance I recieved from another missionary-three blocks down from petrolera (a street name) with a green door, there is a tree in the backyard and it is the only house with a big rock in front) and there you have it and now we need to go find it :)  I was joking the other day about how they will start saying it is the only house that has a black dog  infront of it...and then we asked a lady where her house was and she said a gray dog was usually in front of it.  Hahaha it is frustrating and funny at the same time  (mainly frustrating) My comp is from la paz and has her visa for venezula so she might leave at the end of the transfer or before...we will see.  She is convert of four years.  She is hard working and is obediente so I really cant complain.  she has a hard time teaching she doents know the lessons so I have been trying to help her.  It is hard because a lot of times she will say and now we will share a scripture and just look at me and I need to pull out a scripture from my head haha (it is a learning and growing process) 

I love this gospel and I know that is is true with all my heart.  I love this people and I feel blessed to be here through the hard and good times.  The work is hastening.  We really cant keep this message to ourselves.  I feel my desires changing. The thinngs that are important in life...what I thought was important before my mission really isnt.  The lord, other people and family are the most important things nothing else.  When I am infront of god in the final day I want to be right with myself and be able to say that I did my best to devote tmyself to the lord.  Testify of this work, it is the only way to get the burning so just testify..nothing else. the other day i was worried I  thought "wow I have almost five months and I dont know if I have learned enough or helped others enough in these five monnths" (it scares me that I only have thirteen months) I pray everyday that I am becoming the servant of the lord that he needs me to be and that I am helping his childeren with all of my heart. might , mind and strength.  We dont have much time in this life and we will never have enough time in this life to be worthy to live in the celestial kingdom in the rest of god, yet we are able to because of his atonement.  So dont let the atonement of god go to waste.  Work.  Learn.  And testify so that one day we wont have the guilt when we are infront of god that we could have done more.  

I dont feel worthy to share such a grand message of this gospel but I know that the lord will qualify who he calls and he is qualifying me little by little. 

Love you all so much.  Give those little boys kisses for me! 

Kirs

Nov. 18, 2013

ts good to hear from all of you! Bolivia continues to be hard but it is okay at the same time.  My spanish is coming but I want it to come faster.  I am excited fror cambios because then I will know exactly how my spanish is coming because I wont be in training anymore and will have more opportunities to talk which is good.  I had intercambios this week with another sister and I was in charge of showing her my area with my investigators.  I was really, really nervous because I dont really have a relationship with my investigators...my comp just liks to bring them food and talk to them which isnt good and I cant really talk to them (especially because I cant talk about the time we didnt have money to buy our food or the time when we woke up at three in the morning to go to the market in la paz....) so I was pretty nervous for intercambios with the other hermana.  I prayed the night before and said that I really needed to know what to say...well the next day I just decided that one thing we all have in common is the love of god and tnothing else so I just taught them lessons and testified the next day with my other companion.  (she said she didnt want to talk a lot because I need to grow more...) well it was the most powerful day I have had on the mission I cried after the intercamio because it was the first day that I actually felt like a missionary.  Some of my investigators looked at me when I was speaking and they said..you can talk...I didnt know you could talk? because my companion doesnt really give me an opportunity to talk or we just visit them and dont teach them a lesson.  it was a nice day and I was sad when it ended.  I didnt realize that just my presence can make an impression on the people.  I talked with the other companion that I had intercambio with and she said Hermana Ashton I want you to know that today was missionary work and all the other days have just been relationship work..she didnt even know my situation with my comp but she told me that...It made me feel good to know that I have missionary work to look forward to and as far as this time I just need to hang in there :)  Transfers are in two weeks so we will see what happens. 

I had a temple recommend interview earlier this week with President.  When he asked me the questions for the interview I started to tear up a little bit because of how much I new the my answer for them was true.  Before my mish during those interviews I always answered yes but it was almost a flippent yes not a yes with power.  Well during my interview with him he asked me if I knew Jose smith was I prophet I said yes and started to tear up and then he started to tear up a little bit and he said right after I hope you are writing your mom everyday and telling her that you are a good missionary :) and then we finished the interview.  Moral of the story there is a lot of power in stating your beliefs even if it is only a one word answer.  The church is true.  One time I was talking to president and I said it is interesting how almost everything we dont have an exact answert to but we have an exact answer of the truthfulness of this gospel.  People here dont have anything...I mean nothing.  (only thing is some stuffed grasss for badding or stuffed clotheres to sleep on at night but at the same time they have everything because they have the gospel,  God loves all of his childeren I know this with all of my heart. 

Also during my interview he asked how hermana ortuno (my comp is) I said fine.  And he said Hermana ashton tell me..and I said she was having late night conversations and I cant go to the leaders about her mistakes because she doesnt listen to them.  He said that she is on the list of having her phone priveliges taken aways because ehtey have a record of the phones and he said he knows her well and he knows that I have a lot of patience.  Well I am glad I could learn patience this week.

Yep as I write this the policia are outside hitting people and shooting there gouns...I seriously hate the police here..they cat call me and are just mean I am glad I dont see them a lot we are just in a cafe close to the canch (a mercadao that is dangerous) we needed to but some things.  I only bought a notebook and some tape and pens...

Bolivia is really dangerous...our area especially when someone robs someting the people shoot or beat them to death and then take there clothes and hang them up as a symbol. (you dont call the police because they will just come and hurt everyone (totally corrupt) We have about four symbols hanging up around our area ;(...the worst is they  burn therre bodies and the smell really is horrible...yuck.  You need to be watching you back twenty four seven especially as a gringa.  I know that the lord is looking out for us.  And I pray that he doesnt forget me... Also our neighbors have been having a fiesta almost everynight super loud until 2 am so we are always exhuasted...the other thing that happend is there was an argument outside our house and then gunshots and then I didnt know what else...I didnt want to look out the gate.  Moral of the story..walk with purpose look around you at all times and dont do anything to bring attention...

Okay aside from bolivia problems we had three baptisms this week!!! This family is super humble.  The mom is leaving in a couple days to go work in the fields.  (she will leave her kids for 9 months) The mom and her two teenagers we baptized.  The other day we watched the testiments with them and then after we prayed the mom said in her pray thank you god for letting there hermanas find us.  People like them make it worht it.  There son Omar always call us the hermanitas ( I will ned to send you a picture of them next week when I have more time).  We are teaching another family.  A brandma and her four grandkids.  Both of their parent are in jail and it is really, really sad situation but there heart are super soft so I will keep you updated on them also. 

As far as this p-day hermana dying is having a hermanas day and we are having lunch with her and president...so that should be fun.  There mission house is nice.  Hermana Dying doesnt know spanish and a lot of the latin elders dont like them and just call them rich people and they dont like her because she hasnt learned spanish...it is kind of funny and annoying at the same time..

We are trying to look for a new pensionista because ours is moving I am nervous for a new one..because I will probably get sick again because they arent used to cooking in the clean way (for example when we eat with members normally they just kill the chicken and they dont clean the chicken before they cook it and the heat isnt at a point where it kills all the bacteria, or they dont wash the vegetabbles....(...it is a big responsibility to find a new one and my comp leaves in two week so she really isnt helping in the effort to find someone to cook for us because she probably wont be here.  So pray for me in this effort.  I would really appreciate it. Last night Our district leader who eats with us god mad at our penshioinista because our penshionista like to gossip about other peopole all the time...( she started gossiping about one of his investigators he gos mad and then when I went to give him the numbers for the week he snaped at me...rough night for him) he sent us a message letter that night saying sorry....the hardest part about the culture is people gossip so much about other people it is so annoying!!!)

Okay spiritual thought...Last night I was crying in my pillow about everything like normal...:) and I prayed super hard and just opened my scriptures to Heleamen 15,6.  It talked about having unwearied dilligenge...in the footnote it says dedication..I need to havew dedication.  I know that If I come out of this mission I will be able to DO anything.  I am praying for more love for the people and there way of leaving and I know goid is blessing me in this.  Thank you for you letteres this week they really help me.  I love you all.  Heritage Square is going to be so nice!!! I cant wait to see it and linds and nates house!!!!! I am excited! I miss you all a lot.  I love you so much.  I wish I spent more time with you and wasnt so focused on school and my future and was more focused in the presence before I left home.  I just want to give you all a huge hug.  I still think it is weird that I am helping others with there problmes when I didnt help more at home..but I trust that this mission is blessing all of you and I love you with all of my heart.  Always be greatful for the blessing we have...alot of our investigators are going through hard things ( no money, drunk fathers who beat them, sickness...) we are so blessed. blessed to have this gosple.  Blessed to have a dad that was trustworthy and creatied a life with so many opportunities for us.  Dad the men here are really disrespectdul, drinkers and beaters even within the church...I am so grateful for you example you have been in my life...I dont know what I did in the life before to have the family that I do but I know I need to be grateful every minute for all of you.  I criy a lot because everyday I realize my blessing when I see something new.  And Every day I realize the love that god has for these people ( seems contradictory but I know he has love for them even when there dad is beating them... because I know that through trials you faith and dependence on the lord is immensely great  ( and the lord is able to rest upon us).  The lord existes and I know come judgement day the people of bolivia are going to be judged very differently than us.  I love you all!!! Keep praying for me and will pray for you.  Pray that my investigators will be able to gaina eternal perspective and not just a day y day perspective.  I am healthy this week so dont worry to much.  Love you like a fat kid loves butter sticks!!!

Kirs

Pictures next week!

Okay this week has been good.  Nothing too exciting.  A lot of hang my head days but it is all okay.  My companion for three days we had to go to the hospitl for her back.  They said she has two options to swim to straighten her back or to not walk a lot.  Yeah sure? those are the only options.  Anyways I am in charge of telling sister dyer the updates in englush because her spanish is really bad, you would think after two years it would be a little better.  Well...anyway I call sister dyer and tell her what the doctor said and she says those options arent good so you need to find others.  My companion waas stubborn and didnt want to search for other options and so it is the end of the week and sister dyer needs another update. I tell sister dyer that my companion says there arent any other options and then sister dyer on the phone says well then she needs to go home for awhile.  I ask sister dyer if president could talk to my companion about this because I dont like being a middle person.  The funny thing is after we left the hospital I told my comp "there are other options-for example people will wear a brace around there stomach/back to help when walking...we just need to tell the doctores that those other options wont work but my comp didnt want to" well I pass president to hermana ortuno and he says you need to go home if you dont find other options-hermana ortuno quickly says oh there is another option..I know people wear a brace around there back when walking.  Oh my stuborn little companion needs president to tell her that before she changes.  

I cant judge her though she comes from a humble backround.  I guess the week before she left home they didnt have anything to eat.  So she doubted if she should go on a mission or help her mom vend.  It is humbling.  She also sents some of our mission money to her family-which isnt easy when it comes to the end of the month because we dont have any money left or only a tiny bit...Technically I should mentino this t our district leader but I dont know a part of me thinks what would jesus do in this situation...I think he would go not buying snacks or when we are in charge of our own lunch let her buy what she wants and I buy crackers...  Sometimes you need to have a broader view.  I think christ had a broader view on life.  Hopefully I can become more like him even if is means sacrificing a little on my part for someone else.  

I am healthy still which is really nice! I am glad that I havent gotten sick.  The water here I will put in my bottle but for some reason even with the filter bottle it still gives me pretty bad stomach cramps so I need to find another solution even if it is only juice as an option. But overall I really am more healthy here than I was at home! 

We did a service project the other day for the conselor in Relief Society and we butilt a part of her house.  It was a lot of shovelng dirt.   It is interesting though because everyone boñds there own houses.  The thought of hireing something to build a house is really strange.  

We had lunch yesterday at a strong members house.  At church you dont notice how poor they are but when you get to here house and see that they have sheep and there one room is literally the size of arides room and the bathroom is a whole in the ground you realize that they dnt have very much but because they have a strong testimony you dont notice it because we are all one in purpose right! 

This week we are teaching three people a mom and her three childeren.  One of there childeren has a baptismal date and we will put the otheres with a date the next time we visit them.  They are super humble people.  They dont have anything. The mom is leaving to go work in fields for over a year to bring in money for her kids so we are hoping to get her baptized before she leaves. We are also working with a part member family..it is hard though because the dad is drunk a lot and so I dont really like going there very much but everytone is gods childeren right? 

We are also teach a person named david.. He is good but has some pretty hard questions..that I am definitelly going to have to study up on more.  He is a boyfriend of one of the girls in our ward.  So the work is progressing a lot faster this transfer than the last which is nice. 

We have a new elder who eats lunch with us.  He is a gringo and has only been here for a week.  I like translating a little bit for him it helps me to know that my spanish is coming.  But it is getting more discouraging because I am understanding a lot more it is just difficult for me to speak.  But it is coming. I will get there hopefully when I talk to you on christmas it will be a lot better! 

What else...Overall I am doing good..I just keep on hanging in there...I am excited for when I have more time on the mission and I feel more comfortable.  To be honest though..my temstimony has groun so much of the gospel it is a pretty amazing feeling to know of assurity that this gospel is true. I was reading  the talk by elder holland the other day about the book of mormon.  I like how he said " No wicked man could write such a book and...no good man would" this is true.  The book of mormon is true and is the word of god. I know it with all my heart! 

That is super cute that carolyn is going to be a pumkin!!  And hinckley and charles having the debate they are some stubborn kids! :) It makes me sad that I am not there.  One of my regrets is that I didnt spend more time with the family and was always busy with school. To be honest this regret is weighing really heavy on me now to say the least I have had to pray really hard to ease that regret I have.  Eveything is important but the most important thing we have is families and the gospel.  That is probably the biggest thing I have learned on my mission so far is the importance of time...and how we dont have a lot of it with our familles on this earth.  The other day I asked heavenly father.. I said I feel so selfish now.  I left my family to help others and find myself when I never really helped my family back at home...mindy was always the one helping me but what did I ever do?  How can I help others when I didnt even help my family at home or spend that much time with them these last couple years...I hope with all my haeart that me being on a mission is helping you...and that I can work my hardest to not have any regrets.  Time is short we dont have any time to waste.  

I love you all a whole lot! 

Funny story...yesterday in church I was smiling at a baby sitting in front of me and then the baby started crying and people started laughing during sacrament...haha I guess babies they arent used to seeeing a gringa face :) 

Love you! the church is true! 

Kirs

My answer to go on a mission!

Yes this is another missionary blog. If you are here and I know you, read up, if not, read up anyway :) I want to use this blog as a way to have my pre-mission/mission documented! I received my call at the beginning of march to the Bolivia Cochabamba mission and I report to the Peru MTC on July 31st. I want to tell my story about why I decided to go on a mission and how I decided to go.

Growing up I never thought about going on a mission period. Ever. In fact I was a little stubborn about the idea whenever people brought it up. I just always thought it wasn't something for me. I went to college young and then I knew that the mission age was too old to where I would already be graduated and it wouldn't make "sense" to go.  I have used this reason as my excuse. I also thought that I would be married by then but if that didn't happen there was always the age reason that seemed reasonable enough :) 

I am good at doing school. I love it. Seriously, I pride myself on how many midnight library dates I have a week. I know, its weird. Ever since beginning college, I have always thought about getting out into the working environment. I am definitely the type of person that always wants to move onto the next stage. For example, In middle school I wanted high school, in high school I wanted college... I guess since my eyes have been on the next "stage" of life I never truly saw what was important. I never let myself think about a mission because I didn't see how it would help me with the next "stage." What I didn't realize was that a mission would help me with the most important stage of my whole existence. It would help me come to know and love Christ. Not only personally can I come to know him but I can share that love with others. Now that sounds like a pretty good "stage" to me. 

Weeks leading up to the announcement I was having a lot of questions. "Am I in the right major?" "Am I supposed to be at BYU right now?" "Should I even be in school right now?" "Am I too young for all of this?" I was just confused and felt alone. A mission was the last thing on my mind. I was still 18 and how would I know that Thomas S Monson would make this announcement
 
It was the night before conference and I remember praying that I would know what to do about my questions and that I would find answers. And then I woke up and heard the announcement and it was as if I was slapped in the face. I looked at my phone and saw five texts right after the announcement saying things like "Kirs, that was for you." People always ask me why I came to college so young and why I was so quick to get in the business program after only being at BYU for a year. My response was always, "I don't know." Really, I didn't. Most sixteen year olds aren't stuffing the business pre-reqs into their summers but are having actual "fun" haha. I think there was a reason I got out of high school so fast. I think their was a reason I wanted to get into my major so fast. I think there was a reason...and all of these reasons weren't to get myself into a different temporal "stage" but rather a different eternal "stage" that I knew needed to be in.  

Being my stubborn self, I called my dad after the announcement looking for validation that it wasnt for me and that it wasnt my answer. He said that after he heard the announcement mom and him instantly thought of me and how my situation literally fits perfectly. I cried on the phone and about how it was a total shock. Even though the mission "fit" perfectly, I still needed an answer that I was supposed to go. I went to the temple after conference and  the baptism line was over an hour long. I pulled out the scriptures and instead of asking if I should go on a mission, I asked "what should I do?" I was still being stubborn :) And the first scripture I flipped open to was D&C 88:77 "And I give unto you a commandment that ye should teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom" talk about another slap in the face answer. Silent tears came and there was no denying it. I knew I had to go. It took a couple months getting used to my answer and by the time my call came I felt comfort in knowing I was doing what The Lord needed me to do. I have been blessed to have had all of those things done in my life to allow the mission to fit so perfectly. So to all those texts and responses from everyone who said "Kirs, that was for you" it truly was for me and I am blessed to live in this time where the urgency to share the gospel is so great. 

 I can't wait to go to Bolivia and share with them this joy. As much as its for me it is more for them!! Bolivia here I come!